This Morning, A Little Piece Of Me Died

Everything was just a picture i foolishly created in my head. A fantasy that my subconscious mind tried to bring into reality. It's sad when i look at pictures and know that our friendship was based on actually nothing. What we went through together, I will remember and no one would be able to replace those memories. I would have been there for you whenever you needed me. But what you did hurt and it makes me sad to say what i said and do what i did. I don't know why I responded to your call and texts.

What was I looking for? - Pain? Assurance? Adventure? Reason? Love? Acceptance? 

Our friendship meant a lot to me and thats why i kept giving you the benefit of the doubt. I stood up for you and defended you. By writing this, i'm hoping that it would help me forgive you. that it would help ease the pain. You were more than a friend. You were family. And because of that. he hurt and disappointment amplifies. I will miss you, but deep down i know that you're no good for me. Nonetheless, i'm still going to be here for you. Always. 

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Time spent with my bunny has been therapeutic. Despite of all the calls and texts we've been receiving, everything's good. It's actually better. I guess we're passed the stage of being angry. Though I admit that it affected me a bit. Because i didn't do anything to them or whatever they claimed i did and it made me angry. But J was so patient, calm and assuring throughout and i snapped out of it. What I know is that you make everything feel right. You make everything seem normal. You make me feel safe. You make me feel loved. You make me happy. You make it possible to continue living in my dream. 

         

This always calms me down.